My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 20 years and we have two children whom he takes full responsibility for.

We’ve discussed marriage but he says with the high rate of divorce and the experience he’s had living in a polygamous home, he doesn’t want the hassle of a divorce if we ever spilt.

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Everyone around me is married, but my man simply refuses. I feel so rejected, we don’t live together. Do you think he’s using me?

Felicia, by e-mail.

Dear Felicia,

Your man is not using you; he has stayed with you for almost 20 years. But he is obviously terrified of feeling trapped.

Don’t worry that he doesn’t love you – he prefers not to live with anyone, and polygamous experiences could be quite harrowing for some of the children – and this reflects the way they behave in future relationships.

Don’t get upset because everyone else is married. Either finish things now before you get more hurt, or accept the situation.

If you decide to stick with your man, concentrate on the positive side of your relationship, rather than the fact you haven’t got a ring on your finger.

Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk

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